Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| Screw you April..and the horse you rode in on!!! |
| 04.30.04 (10:32 am) [edit] |
Thank God April is almost over!! That month sure blew!! Ok..March sucked bad too. I have the feeling that at the end of the year I will be saying that about the coming months too. Who knows.
So, we went up to San Francisco yesterday. We didn't get there until about 3:00pm. The weather couldn't have been nicer. In the 70's with a seabreeze. Perfect for just walking around. We first went to Pier 39. Looked through all the stores. I was so pissed to see that the "Kitty City' store was gone. (DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT) But we kept making the rounds. Went and got our usual mini-donuts at 'Trishs' then found a little specialty coffee/tea place and bought some Lemon/Ginger Tea and some 'Buzz' coffee (Twice the caffeine) :shock: If you have never been to San Francisco, beware: there are guys that walk around down on the embarcadero that come up to you and start talking like they are police officers and act like you have done something wrong. They are really just trying to raise money for charities by handing out stickers and then making you pay for them..fun fun. So, yesterday we were waiting on a traffic light to cross the street and one of these guys came up to Dan and asked what he was doing with an 'underage' girl. (hahaha yeah right) He gave him a I HEART SF sticker and then gave me a SMILE sticker. We gave him a few bucks then moved on. We decide to just have dinner at 'HARD ROCK' so we head there. We pass a GAP and decide to drop in there before dinner. What do I see first thing?????? A little bright green canvas purse! It was calling to me! It's SOOO cute! I had to have it! (BTW, if you haven't figured it out yet..I am a sucker for almost anything green) We preceed to have dinner at HRC..The food could've been better but the Long Island (that I got carded for) kicked ass!! I just enjoy making fun of the videos playing. David Lee Roth! *giggle*
After that, we head home. We get home...sit around for a little bit..watch ER. A cat food commercial comes on and I preceed to start bawling hysterically. It's been over a month now since Calli has been gone and I am still periodically freaking out. It hits at the oddest times. Poor Dan. He doesn't know what the hell to do with me. This was the conversation:
D: Lets go get another cat..apparently, that is what you need.
T: NO!!!!! I want Calli!!!
D: We are all moved in now..we can get another cat anytime. Do you want to go look at the shelters?
T: NO!! I don't want another damn cat...I want Calli!
D: Be realistic here.
T: You just don't understand! (sniff sniff)
D: I am gonna go make some coffee..do you want some?
T: :?
I feel so bad for the poor guy. I know I am not being logical but what can ya do?
|
|
|
| |
| Dr. Phil is right |
| 04.27.04 (12:58 pm) [edit] |
Back when Dr. Phil was on Oprah, I remember him saying something to the effect of: In everyones lives, you will have something like 7 people say something to you that will in one way or another shape your life. Here is the story of one such thing:
I have three older brothers..yep, the youngest and the only girl. So, you would expect that I would be the coddled and protected one in the family, right? It's actually been quite the opposite.
I remember, back in 1990 when my parents got divored (I won't go into that whole messy messy story)...then my brother got divorced..then my grandmother died....I overheard a coversation between my Aunt and my Mom. They were discussing everything that had been going on and the toll it had taken on everyone in the family. I quite clearly recall hearing my Aunt telling my mom to worry about my brothers, but that "Tiffanni would be ok. She is strong and can deal with it." At the time, I was thinking to myself "Hell yeah..damn straight!!" But looking back, I am not sure what to think about it. There are times when I still think that yeah..between me and my brothers, I have always been the one that never got in trouble, never created any huge waves....but I think it may have also given people the impression that I never need help or have problems of my own. Yeah yeah...I have a good head on my shoulders but does that mean that I am a friggin' robot?
I just find it sad that the only person in my family that has ever really 'talked' to me at all about all the difficulties me and Dan have been going through the past three years has been my sister in law. I don't think anyone else has even acknowledged that we even HAD a problem.
This may be straying off topic a bit but, my brother Don is now getting his second divorce...Mike...2 divorces...Kirk, only one. I may be a bitch for saying this but each of these divorces was brought on by some major act of stupidity and could have been avoided. These are the things that get the attention...while here I am, no divorces..but 2 miscarriages and subsequent infertility and just general bad luck in lifes major arenas...nothing that I had control over, but apparently none of these things even deserve mentioning. What the fuck is that all about?? So..apparently, if you are just an ignorant jackass that bring drama upon drama upon yourself, you deserve sympathy and attention...but if you are just dealt one blow after another through no actions of your own, you are SOL??
|
|
|
| |
| Calgon, take me away!!!! |
| 04.24.04 (9:56 am) [edit] |
So, I am sitting here in our new condo, knee-deep in boxes! Now, I am usually Miss Anal Retentive when it comes to moving. I tend to have everything moved and unpacked the same day. Unfortunately, our bad karma has eased its way into the moving arena.
Wednesday, we couldn't move because the money from the loan company wasn't wired to the seller.
Thursday, we THOUGHT we weren't going to be able to move either..the money got wired but the transaction hadn't been recorded. But thanks to our super-hero like Realtor, Helga making a few calls...it got recorded. The problem then you ask?? The god damn cable company. "We will be there between 12-5.: they say. I had to work so Dan literally had to just sit in this empty place all day waiting. 5:00 rolls around and he was still a no show. Finally the guy showed and was outta there by 6. I also got off work at 6 and we all met Helga back at our old place. She showed up with a bottle of Champagne some lovely Champagne Flutes. (Among other house warming gifts..she rules BTW!) Me and Helga preceed to have 3 glasses of champagne in like 15 minutes. Boy..it sure tasted good after this past week.
Finally a few more people show up to help with the move. YEAH!!! Quickly, we run into yet another problem. Our stupid ass couch will NOT fit in the condo! Try as they might, the fucker is just not gonna budge! We have the gouged out walls to prove it. :x The only solution we have come up with is to give it to Salvation Army for a tax credit. Better than nothing, I guess. Our help are really only there to help us with the big stuff...so soon they leave and me and Dan are on our own to start with all the piddly crap. We get as much done that evening as we can.
Friday...once again, Dan is waiting around again, this time for SBC..those bastards! So, you guessed it, I had to work Friday and then come home to have to start moving yet more stuff. It's amazing how much you accumulate over the years.
Today, I woke up sore and umm....sore! My calves are killing me...if I am lifting with my arms, how do my legs hurt??
I have found that the worst part of this move has been finding one little reminder of Calli after another. It's so hard to move without my little munkin!
So, now onto the business of my last drs. appt. The dr. came in and told us over and over how floored he was by these test results. My FSH level turned out to be 138.3!! Damn! Anyway, he put me on Premarin then Premarin/Prometrium for three months...and then we will redo the b/w. If it is still the same, check again in 6 months. But after a year, if it's the same...I am more or less proven to be in menopause. The meds are more or less to just take care of the menopause-like symptoms I have been having. Hot Flashes among other things. Oh boy...those sure are a treat!
:shock:
|
|
|
| |
| D-Day! |
| 04.21.04 (9:36 am) [edit] |
So, It's April 21st. D-day! Let me explain. Last week, I went in for cd3 b/w. Thursday morning I got a call from the nurse in the drs office asking if I could come in that afternoon. My bloodwork had come back and she said the dr. would want to talk to me about the results. As if I wasn't freaking out enough about the results. I had to work that day, so I couldn't make it in, but made an appt. for today to talk to the dr about the results. I knew I couldn't stand going through almost a whole week without knowing what the problem was so I asked the nurse (thinking she would say she wasn't allowed to give me any info. over the phone...but she surprised me) She said that 3 out of the 5 hormones that they checked were way out of wack. So.. I got up the nerve and asked her if she could tell me the FSH number. (Pause) "It came back at over 100." :shock: Damn..I was expecting it to be kind of a sucky number but didn't expect THAT!! She said 'Your LH and E2 were way out of wack too, but your prolactin and TSH came back normal.' This news would be bad enough in itself but with all of the crazy cycles I have had lately, even worse. In my mind at least. I seriously just don't know what to expect from this appt. Could I have been in a downward spiral in this direction for years, with about a million drs. appointments and this is just coming up NOW?? On one hand, I say that that is not probable, since I had these tests run a few years ago. On the other hand, I have had the fucking craziest~ass cycles known to man for the past 5 years and no one has ever explained why. Once again, let me explain. Me and Dan lived in Texas for a few years and while there, I started getting these periods (TMI Alert! TMI Alert!) that would be so friggin heavy that I would be going through a box of tampons AND pads a day. A DAY! I had a seven minute drive to work and I couldn't even get half way there without ruining whatever clothes I was wearing. Bad right?? Well, that's not the worst part. This went on for a god-damn month! And it only stopped then because I finally made a drs appt. and was put on BCP's to make it stop. I am telling you, you don't know what stress is until something like that happens to you. Physically I felt ok...but when you aren't able to literally leave the house because you might have an 'accident' is mentally exhausting. For the past 5/6 years, I have had at least one of these episodes a year. What makes them even more fun is the fact that when they happen, I have no warning. I am usually plagued but cramps from hell, but when this happens....NOTHING, Nada! Just Niagra Falls...out of nowhere! What a lucky girl I am!
So, there is one more reason, that I said it is D-Day! We are finally moving into our new condo today. I hate moving! It's exciting and a pain in the ass at the same time. The good thing is that is it only a few blocks from where we are living now, so there isn't much of a drive or anything! Bonus! The other good news about this place is that is has 2 pools! 2!!! and a hottub! (I won't use the hot tub though...the idea of community hot tubs doesn't sit well with me. I don't really fully appreciate the idea of sitting in a tempid pool of other peoples filth!)
Anyway..wish us luck today!
|
|
|
| |
| Why I hate people.... |
| 04.12.04 (8:45 pm) [edit] |
RUDENESS, plain and simple.
These are answers I have actually had to give:
Yes, I am short.
Yes, I have a lot of hair.
Yes, this is my REAL hair. (nice, huh, bitch? you jealous?)
No, I don't have any kids. (I just LOVE the look you get after answering this one. You can tell people are thinking: WHY?? You look like you are old enough...why in the world wouldn't you have any kids by now? I see a ring on your finger so I know you are married." Even worse is when I get pissed off enough to actually tell them that I have had 2 miscarriages and have been trying to have a kid for 3 years..stupidly thinking this will shut them up. Nope. "It will happen...just relax" Ok thanks..now I get it. Thanks for enlightening me.)
I will NEVER understand why complete strangers feel the need to ask such personal questions or make such dumb ass comments. Even if you are wondering such things..what compels a person to actually think that they have any right to ask a complete stranger these things?
The worst part of it is that most of it happens when I am at work, so I can't be a TOTAL bitch about it. As much as I would like to be. I also know that most people don't mean anything by it...but it's just god damn common sense. Do what I do. If someone or something catches your eye...draw your own conclusion. Make up an interesting story about them. It's more fun anyway.
I think Mitch Hedberg explained it best with the following:
" It is very dangerous to wave to people you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got motherfucker, this thing is useful...I'm gonna go pick something up"
Think about it.
|
|
|
| |
| Music. Past Present and Future. My humble opinions. |
| 04.05.04 (9:03 pm) [edit] |
So, between it being the 10th anniversary of Kurt Cobains death and OliviaDrabs post the other day (http://oliviadrab.tblog.com/ )got me thinking about what I have been listening to lately and the state of music today. Before you read any further, be warned that I have typically never been one to listen to 'mainstream radio' and I am now 31 and I think my age is finally showing.
When you grow up you kind of tend to HAVE to listen to what your parents and/or siblings listen to (especially if you are the youngest) So, my first music influences ranged from everything to Loretta Lynn to Elvis to Glenn Miller to Black Sabbath. Quite the combination, don't you think? When I was really young I tended to just listen to what my mom listened to. (country..ok, not my proudest moment) As I got older, my brothers were more of an influence..hense the Black Sabbath shout out. As a teenager (it was the 80's) I was a mix between POP with a bit of what was considered 'alternative' (at least in my tiny hick high school) mixed in.
I mean, 'Warrant' and 'New Kids on the Block' were what was being force fed to kids when I was younger and well....Bleck! There were a few bright spots..I had a friend that went to school in Ann Arbor (where there was truely a much more diverse population) and she taught me all about Depeche Mode and The Smiths...but other than that, I didn't really have any specific type of music that I listened to. A little Madonna... a little Wham! (hell yeah) a little Led Zeppelin.
Fast forward to 1991. I am driving home from god knows where..I am trying to find SOMETHING on the radio that doesn't make me wanna hurl...when all of a sudden, what do I hear but: "I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does..." OMG The Smiths..on the radio!! Holy Crap! I am not sure exactly what songs were played directly after this but, I don't think I changed the station in the preceeding 7 years I lived in Michigan. It was 89X and to this day thank god I found that station. They played Robyn Hitchcock, Sloan, Billy Bragg, Screaming Trees, The Pixies....all sorts of fun stuff!
Then came 'Grunge.' You can probably tell from what I have written so far, I was never really into ROCK...at least any contemporary rock...I never understood Guns and Roses...I mean I am all about being pissed off but I guess I never understood what Axl was so pissed ABOUT. Then, I remember hearing 'Alice in Chains' and thinking..DAMN! It sounded angry and gritty and I loved it. Come to think of it, I don't really understand what Layne was pissed off about either, but somehow it clicked anyway. For the next few years I was pretty content with what was happening in the world of music...but like all good things, it must come to an end. DAMN you, Limp Bizkit and damn you Blink 182!!! Just look at what you have done!! Music went back to it's slick, polished, corporate self. Don't get me wrong..I am not trying to revive the grunge thing. It was fun while it lasted but let's not beat a dead horse. I don't want to be seeing any "Monsters of GRUNGE' concert tours.
I am now back to not knowing quite where I fit in the world of music genres. Rock? Kinda. Pop? Kinda, but not so much. Hip Hop? Not exactly. I get the feeling that a lot of people in their 30's are feeling the same thing. To me, this is explaining the popularity of Kazaa and Morpheus. People are getting sick of the processed cheese that the music industry is spewing at us. Once every decade or so, all the music becomes so alike that it just boils over and starts again...from scratch. Nirvana was the last time that happened I think. So, hopefully it's happening again as we speak. The White Stripes maybe?? The Strokes??......
|
|
|
| |
| Quote of the day! |
| 04.03.04 (12:01 pm) [edit] |
In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.
-- Konrad Adenauer
|
|
|
| |
| AF needs to be bitchslapped! |
| 04.02.04 (10:05 am) [edit] |
Ok..dammit...she is always here non-stop when I don't want her to be here, and now that I have some testing to do once she shows...she is taking her sweet god damn time. CD 30 and she is no where in sight.
To tell you the truth, I am a little frightened about what this bloodwork may show. I think it's been 6-7 months since I have actually Oed and my cycles have been so wacky, that I am scared they are going to find something bad. The way life has been lately, I am almost positive it won't be good news. I mean what the hell..pile it on...I can take it.
If the dr want to do clomid again, I just can't be responsible for the consequences. I am in super bitch pissy girl mode as it is. I think they need to change the old saying..it needs to read "Hell hath no fury as a woman on clomid" Mmhmm.
Oh and to add to the fun....it looks like we are going to go through another weekend not knowing about the damn house loan too. I can't believe this crap is taking so long. BLEH!
I will try to add something positive here though. Not too much makes me happy like buying new make-up...and that's just what I did yesterday. I think I need to get a job testing out new cosmetics. I would LOVE it!! That or maybe vacuums...either one.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
